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Monday, November 26, 2007
Posted by
st
at
6:46 AM
I’ve been dreaming about my Dad for the past 3 weeks now. It’s not the same dream; it’s a different dream everyday. I really don’t know what that means, but I guess that’s just the result of thinking about him everyday.
Yes, I still think of him EVERYDAY. Whenever I’m alone or just doing nothing, he’s always the one I’m thinking of. Don’t get me wrong, I do think of B, but it’s just different cuz I see B for like everyday whereas my Dad… well, I haven’t seen him for like a decade now. And it just feels so… depressing.
I feel so miserable whenever my classmates talk about their latest trip with their Dads or about their family dinner and stuff like that. I can’t do anything but just listen to them cuz I don’t have a story to share… cuz my Dad’s not with us. I just try not to listen to them that much cuz the feeling of not seeing my Dad and not spending some time with him is just so awful. It’s like being born with no eyes, ears, arms, legs… even heart.
Even though I have lived more than half of my life without my Dad, I still get that feeling of being so incomplete. Like there’s something missing and no one could ever make you feel better except him.
I have stopped hoping for that day where he would come home and our family would be complete again. That dream is over and I’m sure that it would never be a reality; not now, not ever. There would never be a “And they lived happily ever after” for us. I just want to see my Daddy. I miss his hugs, his kisses, the way he calls me “baby girl”…
I just miss everything about him.
A letter for Daddy:
Dear Daddy,
I’m pretty sure you won’t be able to read this, but I’m just hoping that someday, you would. I miss you. I guess that’s the reason why I’m writing you this. And I love you… I love you, Daddy. There was never a moment in my life where I stopped loving you. It’s normal for a daughter to get mad at her Dad, but it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love him anymore. You’re still my Dad, and I would be forever grateful for that.
Dad, I’m sorry for getting mad at you. I was a kid back then and I don’t know the real story. But now, I know everything. I know it’s not your fault and you never meant to hurt Mum nor us. I forgive you, Dad, and I’m so sorry. I hope you forgive me, too.
I am longing for the day when I will see you again. The last time I saw you… I never showed it, but it was one of the happiest days in my life. It was pretty depressing when your boss called you and you told me that you have to go to work and I can’t stay at your place. I’m pretty excited to meet my other siblings, you know. I have accepted that a long time ago, Dad. They are your children, they’re my brothers and sisters, they’re a part of you, and I love them for that.
I thank God for choosing you to be my Dad. Though you’re not here, I know you love us. And I want you to know that we love you, too. I hope you’ll be the one to walk me and Kamille down the aisle. You missed my debut; I just wish you were there. I thought I would finally have my father-and-daughter dance. I hope you won’t miss Kam’s. It would mean so much to us, Dad. Don’t worry about what the others would say. I am here and I will fight for you.
I love you, Daddy. And I miss you. I hope to see you soon. I will be forever waiting for you.
Your daughter,
Kaye
Yes, I still think of him EVERYDAY. Whenever I’m alone or just doing nothing, he’s always the one I’m thinking of. Don’t get me wrong, I do think of B, but it’s just different cuz I see B for like everyday whereas my Dad… well, I haven’t seen him for like a decade now. And it just feels so… depressing.
I feel so miserable whenever my classmates talk about their latest trip with their Dads or about their family dinner and stuff like that. I can’t do anything but just listen to them cuz I don’t have a story to share… cuz my Dad’s not with us. I just try not to listen to them that much cuz the feeling of not seeing my Dad and not spending some time with him is just so awful. It’s like being born with no eyes, ears, arms, legs… even heart.
Even though I have lived more than half of my life without my Dad, I still get that feeling of being so incomplete. Like there’s something missing and no one could ever make you feel better except him.
I have stopped hoping for that day where he would come home and our family would be complete again. That dream is over and I’m sure that it would never be a reality; not now, not ever. There would never be a “And they lived happily ever after” for us. I just want to see my Daddy. I miss his hugs, his kisses, the way he calls me “baby girl”…
I just miss everything about him.
A letter for Daddy:Dear Daddy,
I’m pretty sure you won’t be able to read this, but I’m just hoping that someday, you would. I miss you. I guess that’s the reason why I’m writing you this. And I love you… I love you, Daddy. There was never a moment in my life where I stopped loving you. It’s normal for a daughter to get mad at her Dad, but it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love him anymore. You’re still my Dad, and I would be forever grateful for that.
Dad, I’m sorry for getting mad at you. I was a kid back then and I don’t know the real story. But now, I know everything. I know it’s not your fault and you never meant to hurt Mum nor us. I forgive you, Dad, and I’m so sorry. I hope you forgive me, too.
I am longing for the day when I will see you again. The last time I saw you… I never showed it, but it was one of the happiest days in my life. It was pretty depressing when your boss called you and you told me that you have to go to work and I can’t stay at your place. I’m pretty excited to meet my other siblings, you know. I have accepted that a long time ago, Dad. They are your children, they’re my brothers and sisters, they’re a part of you, and I love them for that.
I thank God for choosing you to be my Dad. Though you’re not here, I know you love us. And I want you to know that we love you, too. I hope you’ll be the one to walk me and Kamille down the aisle. You missed my debut; I just wish you were there. I thought I would finally have my father-and-daughter dance. I hope you won’t miss Kam’s. It would mean so much to us, Dad. Don’t worry about what the others would say. I am here and I will fight for you.
I love you, Daddy. And I miss you. I hope to see you soon. I will be forever waiting for you.
Your daughter,
Kaye
I really hope he gets to read this ;(0 Comments:
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