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Thursday, December 24, 2009
TO OUR ARMED SERVICES HOME AND ABROAD, A SAFE AND HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON, AND NEW YEAR! COME HOME SOON!
AS OF THIS PAST MONDAY, 21ST DECEMBER 2009, THE FIRM FITNESS CENTER WAS SHUT DOWN BY THE FT. LAUDERDALE CODE ENFORCEMENT DEPTARTMENT! SOURCES CLOSE TO THE GYM RAIDER HAVR DISCLOSED THAT SOMEONE WHO CALLED THE DEPARTMENT HAD MAD A COMPLAINT ABOUT THE CONTINUAL LEAKS IN THE ROOF FOR OVER THE PAST YEAR, WHICH WAS EVIDENT IN THE DISCOLORED CEILING PANELS..OTHER MEMBERS HAD VOICED CONCERN OVER THE 8 GARBAGE PAILS USED TO COLLECT THE LEAKING WATER.. I WONDER WHO THE "SHA-KEL"-(I.D.F. SLANG FOR "SLY FOX") WAS THAT THOUGHT UP THAT BRILLIANT MANUEVER!? ANYWAY, THE FIRM IS SOMEHOW AFFILIATED WITH "TANGERINE FITNESS", (I WILL DESCRIBE THE FACILITY IN A MINUTE..) AND IS MOVING/SHARING LOCATIONS IN THE OLD AUTO NATION BUILDING ON THE 7TH FLOOR.
I DECIDED TO JOIN "TANGERINE FITNESS" WHICH IS DESCRIBED AS AN "EXECUTIVE" STYLE CLUB..I WILL SAY THE FACILITY IS VERY NICE, WITH PLENTY OF EQUIPMENT, MODERN ELIPTICAL TRAINERS, RQUETBALLCOUTRTS, CORE STRENGHT FACILITY, AEROBIC ROOM, SMITH/CABLE MACHINES AND RESISTANCE EQUIPMENT ROOM,A SWIMMING POOLS AND HOT TUBS-YES PLURAL OUT ON THE ROOF BESIDES THE SAUNA, STEAM ROOM, AND HOT TUBS IN THE LOCKER ROOMS, AS WELL AS A FRESH POT OF COFFEE (IN THE MORNING)! AND I WILL SAY THE STAFF IS WAY MORE PROFFESSIONAL AND FRIENDLY THAN THOSE AT THE "FIRM"! YOU EVEN GET A FREE TOWEL-YES A FREE TOWEL WHEN YOU WALK IN THE DOOR, AND NUMEROUS WIPE DOWN STATIONS! SO YOU THOUGHT THE 'OL GYM RAIDER FINALLY FOUND HIS SLICE OF NIRVANA, EH? WELL 1) ALOT OF THE GYMTARDS FROM THE "FIRM" ARE TRANSFERRING THERE AS WELL, AND BRINGING THEIR DIRTY, UNHYGENIC WAYS WITH THEM, AND EVEN SOME OF THE TRAINERS, INCLUDING MR. JOE "I'LL JUST MAKE UP SOME CREDENTIALS" MEZZOLA, AND MR. BILLY "ROTTEN BALONEY" RICHARDSON, WHOSE CLIENTS NEVER USE A TOWEL! I WONT SAY A DAMN WORD, BUT I CAN TELL YOU, THE CLIENTELE WONT PUT UP WITH THE "FIRM" CROWD LEAVING THEIR SLOP LAYING AROUND! I DID HAVE TO TELL THIS ONE GYMTARD TO WIPE HIS SLOP UP THIS MORNING..ANOTHER DOUCHE FROM THE "FIRM"...AND "THE CRANIUM"- WHO THE LAST TIME, I TOSSED THE PAPER TOWEL AT, CAUSE I HAD TO WIPE UP HIS CRANIAL RESIDUE, WELL HE'S CRUSHIBG IT TODAY, WITH NO TOWEL..SO ALL I SAID WAS, AND IN A NICE TONE W/ A SMILE "HEY! THEY GIVE OUT FREE TOWELS HERE, YOU KNOW, SO YOU DONT HAVE TO LEAVE A MESS.." OF COURSE HE'S A REAL PANSY, AND WET HIS BRITCHES, CAUSE I WENT TO TALK TOT HE MANAGER ON MY WAY OUT, AND HE CAME UP AFTER ME, BUT THE MANAGER TOLD HIM TO WAIT..I WILL SAY IT IS A PLEASURE TO TALK TO A COURTEOUS, BUSINESS PROFESSIONAL, WHO UNDERSTANDS WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM...I WONT GO INTO DETAIL, BUT I/WE DECIDED TO STAY ON THE "D.L", AND SHE WOULD ASSIST ME IN ANYWAY POSSIBLE! TO YOU MADAM, I SAY THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND LOOK FORWARD TO FREQUENTING YOUR FITNESS ESTABLISHMENT!
NOW FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT, A COLLECTION OF 2009'S WINNERS FOR THE BEST OF THE GYMTARDS! THESE CONSTANT VIOLATORS, AND LACK OF COMMON SENSE OR COURTESY FOR THIER FELLOW MANKIND, TRULY GYMTARDS..THEY ARENT EVEN WORTH THE SARCASTIC COMMENTS THIS TIME! AND TO ALL YOU LOYAL FOLLOWERS OF YOUR'S TRULY, THE GYM RAIDER, HAVE A SAFE AND HEALTHY HOLIDAY SEASON, AND A BETTER 2010!
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