MOTO NGANTOK BLOG

We interrupt our regularly scheduled hot women in tank tops and Tina Fey worship for this very important public service announcement. Everything is funnier when done by puppets. So with that I give you the Sesame Street crew performing “Telephone.” More proof Sesame Street is so gay: Its abundant use of the word “yep.” Everyone knows that’s reserved for celebrities affirming to People magazine their sexual orientation. Also, everyone knows about Bert & Ernie. Come on, boys, Ricky Martin finally came out, too.

So even though it may seem like all I ever do is sit on my ass on the couch and watch TV, this is amazingly not actually the case. To be sure, I watch a lot of television. But I don’t watch everything. Now I feel downright righteous about some of non-watching stands. Still other shows make me feel downright bad about not watching. To atone for my guilt, I’d like to offer up my thank you for the lovely actresses involved. A few more tank tops like this and I’ll have to go on a series DVD renting spree of epic proportions. Good thing I like my couch.

p.s. No, really, the second season. It's a screener. Jealous?

So this past week I went to go see some old friends. Truth be told, we hadn’t visited face-to-face in about eight years. But there was a time, ages ago, when we spent almost every day together. I’d listen intently, absorbing each word and meditating on its meaning. And the car trips, oh heavens, they were fun. Still, somehow we drifted apart. Sure, we’d run into each other from time to time – often on accident. Yet each meeting was like slipping on a favorite sweater for the first time of the season: warm, comfortable, soothingly familiar.

Gosh, it was nice seeing the Indigo Girls again. At times they might seem like a cliché, the lesbian band we all at least flirted with at some point in our lives. Knowing all the words to “Closer to Fine” is pretty much a requisite to earning your toaster oven. But there is a reason they’ve endured. Their voices, those harmonies, that music. Granted, over the years my tastes have changed. But as they played I could still sing along to almost every song. The whole crowd could. Some songs brought me back immediately to a certain time and place: alone in my bedroom, together in my dorm room. Some music, you never outgrow. You might not listen that much anymore, but it will always be part of your soundtrack. So when you hear it again, even years later, you have to listen.


Two other interesting tidbits about my show: 1) I was surprised by the number of husbands (no, not really butch lesbians, I double checked) that came with their wives. Guess even L.U.G.s like to get nostalgic. And 2) I realized during the show that while my younger self preferred Emily’s sweet soprano, the older me now gravitates towards Amy’s darker alto. Who knows, maybe in another 20 years I’ll flip flop again.

Oh, Don't Forget Your High Heels


And, That Special Studded Bustier
Just Might Do The Trick.
Because Tonight Is The Night
For A Special Performance...



As We Dance The Night Away...
While Being Decked Out In
Fabulous One of A Kind Vintage Lingerie
For That Special Someone. We could create our own cabaret.



My love for vintage lingerie took me to Etsy this morning.
As I sipped my cup of tea, I realized how much
over the top creative talent there is in the world.
Just look at the photography, models, creations and inspiration found on Etsy.
The first four mind blowing photos and
items are available at 2 Treasure Hunt. Doesn't this look like an editorial from a high end fashion magazine? Oh geez, the bar has been set for Etsy.
This gorgeous and classic vintage 1950's Warner piece that a gal with curves would treasure is from my blog gal pal, Michelle, over at The Red Velvet Shoe.

This upcycled masterpiece is found at The Pink Purse.
There are so many items I swoon over at her delightful shop! It was seriously difficult to choose just one.

For a slightly meeker point of view,
I adore this Vera lounging set.
Could you see yourself lounging in the late afternoon poolside in Palm Springs or the Hamptons
in this number with a dry martini in hand?

The perfect cover up, this vintage leopard robe this is lined with velveteen found at Stiletto Girl. Grr...

So, just a little wish list of mine of the Fabulous Finds of the Day found at Etsy.

Do any of these speak to you, doll?
If vintage isn't your thing or you just love luxurious lingerie, check out frou frou fashionista. It's full of glorious eye candy.
~~
Enjoy your day!
May you do it in style.
~~

xo,
Christina

Say what you will about Nancy Pelosi, but the lady delivered. When it counted most, when others swore it was futile, when the full brunt of an angry opposition came down on her, she delivered. Not to go all Joe Biden on the situation, but the passage of health care reform this week was a big fucking deal. Sure, it’s not everything many of us had hoped for. And it’s a lot more than others ever wanted. But this is how progress works. It is rarely pretty. It is always hard. It is never perfect. Change is a process, but it won’t happen without that first, gigantic step.

And it might not have ever happened without the Speaker of the House. Now I’ve had my differences with Pelosi’s leadership style and overall approach before. But I’ve never doubted her intellect and conviction, and now I’ll never doubt her toughness again. By all accounts it was Speaker Pelosi who prodded President Obama to stay aggressive about passing health care reform. By all accounts it was Speaker Pelosi who cajoled Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to grow a pair. And by all account it was Speaker Pelosi who strong-armed the skittish House Democrats to get the votes needed, more even, to pass this historic piece of legislation.

Now l still believe that the role of government is to help people, to solve big problems, and to ensure our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. And it’s really hard to have any let alone all of those three if you’re sick and can’t afford to get better. The simple right to be healthy, to even just be alive, shouldn’t be reserved for the rich. We are a society that is plenty wealthy enough to make sure our most basic health is ensured. It’s downright shameful that we don’t. But that begins to end now.

Pelosi, who turns 70 today, is not only the first female Speaker of the House, but as second in line to the presidency she is perhaps the most powerful woman in American history. And she has done it all, amazingly, with that near perpetual smile. For this, she has been called many things. A dingbat. A dilettante. And, my favorite, a San Francisco liberal. The horrors! Yet somehow, people still buy Rice-a-Roni.

But such chronic underestimation is something she is no doubt used to, and clearly has no problem overcoming. There were times during this past year when I was sure that all hope was lost, that the bill was dead, that the Democrats simply didn’t have the spine. But that was just me underestimating her, too. She had the spine all along. Sure it wasn’t seamless, and certainly the work isn’t done. But it’s that first, gigantic step we needed. Thank you, Madame Speaker. Have a happy birthday, you’ve earned it. Happy weekend, all.

God, I love it when Tina Fey has a new movie coming out. Why? Because we’re treated to her on magazine covers and talk shows galore. It’s an all-you-can Tina smorgasbord and I can’t pile it on my plate high enough. Like yesterday when she was on the “Late Show with David Letterman.”

Could her Tracy Morgan impersonation be more spot on? Also, you can tell her dress is shorter than she is used to wearing because she keeps adjusting it and sitting in, what I like to call, the modesty arm pose. Hey, a lady doesn’t flash her lady business.

Other highlights from last night’s appearance:

On her 4½-year-old daughter Alice’s concern for her well being:

She just took my face in her hands and said, “When are you going to die?” They have very practical concerns. They’ll miss you, but they’re like, “Who is in charge of the chicken nuggets when you die?”

On playing married to Steve Carell in “Date Night”:

One of the things I liked about the movie is we look like a married couple. A lot of times it’s like Burt Lancaster and Megan Fox.

On improvising on the set:

We did this whole sequence around a stripper pole... We did pretty well. There were a couple times where Steve picked me up by the legs and just rammed my crotch bone into the pole. I was like, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. You have a wife; you know what the equipment is that we’re working with here.

Letterman clearly has a crush on her, too. He called her one of “only like half a dozen people who can make really funny, entertaining films” today. Back off, Dave. She’s my Fake Wife. You have a real wife, and staffers.

So yesterday, when emailing back and forth with friends, the topic of – um, how shall we say – favorite body parts came up. (We’re really not that skeezy, it was in the context of my “Bitch Slap” review.) Anyway, I determined after some entirely pleasurable self-reflection that I am not a Boob Gal or a Butt Gal or a Gams Gal. Sure, there are a few areas of the body I like to linger on (wouldn’t you like to know), but all in all what I really like is a big, bodacious brain. Just a really nice perky set of lobes does it for me. Dead sexy. And, ultimately, that’s what makes me love Tina so much. She is so smart and so quick and so witty. She is droll and charming and have I mentioned smart? What can I say, a finely formed cerebral cortex gets me hot.

Also, it helps that it you put your right hand up over Steve Carell on this week’s Entertainment Weekly cover, it looks like Tina is covered in lipstick kisses from a lady. I have had dreams like that. Very, very good dreams. They looked a little something like this.

p.s. Did you catch Joan Jett last night on Letterman, too? Is it just me, or does she not age? Like at all. Like pact-with-the-devil at all.

Question: Does this woman make you wanna be bad?

How about now?How about now?How about now?How about if I told you she was going to play Chicago’s first female police chief? Yeah, now you wanna be bad. Like call the cops, get arrested, go to jail bad, don’t you? Jennifer Beals has signed on to a new Fox pilot to play said pioneering police chief. Yeah, I know. Let it all soak in. Yes, Jennifer will be back on TV. Yes, she will play a cop. Yes, she will be wearing a uniform. And a badge. And a big old gun. They’re going to have to change the song to: “I fought the law because the law was ridiculously sexy.”

Jennifer’s new show is called “Ride-Along.” Eh, not loving the name. But then, you’d be hard pressed to find a gay lady who liked the name “The L Word,” too. The other eh ingredient in this sexy lady cop sandwich? She is just the female lead, not the lead-lead. The Hollywood Reporter describes the show’s premise as such:

“Ride-Along revolves around on a rogue cowboy cop (Jason Clarke) and Chicago's first female police chief (Jennnifer Beals) who vow to clean up the streets.”

Hmm, I can see it now. She’s a strict, by-the-books chief. He’s a mavericky, loose cannon cop. They clash. They get results. Whatever, Jennifer gets to be a cop and have a freaking gun. Also, she’s on my TV and not on “Lie To Me” (I’m not really feeling that show and I am really, really not feeling her as Tim Roth’s ex-wife). I am looking forward to many, many more shot of her in power suits and sharply pressed dress blues. See, now you want to be bad, too. Well get in line, and bring your own handcuffs. I fear there could be a shortage.

Research is really a wonderful thing. Some people like to take shortcuts, but I believe in doing things the old-fashioned way. Hence last night I spent untold hours looking up actresses in lesbian guest appearances to prove my Lesbian Rule of Threes, a totally not fake theory I did not just make up after having a cocktail or two last night. Read all about it later on AfterEllen today. Suffice it to say I was scanning old clips to make my case when I stumbled across this one I had tucked away. To be fair, the great and powerful ScribeGrrrl tipped me off to it in the first place. I believe things like this are are why the internet was invented.

Yes, that is Megan Follows playing totally gay on “ER.” Yes, I know, OH MY GOD! Now, unless you were one of those “Little House on the Prairie” girls, everyone knows Megan Follows was Anne Shirley, as in “Anne of Green Gables.” I am now going to allow 15 seconds for the 10-year-old in all of you to freak out and possibly squeal.

This of course led me to more research while led me to the conclusion that I am not the only person who daydreamed about Anne and Diana being Bosom Friends with benefits. Come on, who calls their best friend their “bosom” anything? Gay ladies, that’s who. All that hand holding, all that kissing on the lips, all that professing of love. Think I’m kidding? Research doesn’t lie.

Megan Follows is one of my earliest and my most enduring crushes. That red hair, those freckles, that spunk. Did you know she turned 42 last week? Yeah, I’m not sure how I feel about that either. But I do know that I will always be at least a little in love with Megan, and now so much more that she once played a big old lesbian. Talk about your kindred spirits.

Expectations are a hell of a thing. Set them too high, and you will almost always be disappointed. Set them too low, and you’ll end up owning three copies of “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.” So when it comes to “Bitch Slap,” I would like to help shape your expectations to facilitate maximum enjoyment during your viewing experience.

[For maximum enjoyment of this post, click images to embiggen.]

1. Expect to see a lot of cleavage.

2. Expect the plot to be convoluted.

3. Expect there to be an extended slo-mo water fight for no apparent reason.

4. Expect to learn more euphemisms for female genitalia than you ever knew existed.

5. Expect your enjoyment to increase with the number of drinks and/or lesbians and/or drinks with lesbians that accompany your viewing.

“Bitch Slap” is not a great film, but it is 100 minutes with three smokin’ hot ladies in really tight clothing doing sexy, ridiculous or violent things to each other – often all at once. So, you know, better than “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.” Considerably. I actually found I enjoyed it more the second time I watched it. And I really, really enjoyed some scenes more the second (and third, perhaps even fourth) time I watched them.

Check AfterEllen.com for my comprehensive, though no less cleavagey, review in the coming days. Until then, did I mention there was a lot of cleavage? This is a point I feel cannot be understated.